But, if you only have one shot, that means that you do what you can for yourself and who cares about what you leave behind. And that's the problem with the American culture of individuality and hedonism. Screw the environment, screw the industrializing nations, screw the regulations that protect everyone else from the few. As long as you have your money in your bank account for your luxuries, who cares what happens in the lives of the so many others? That's why Chris left the U.S. and that's why he helped us and others; because he understood just how fortunate he had been and he didn't understand why other people shouldn't also be fortunate. After all, the inflation of the value of his property wasn't his doing, just as Bruce's money wasn't your doing. But, what was your doing?
I can write about both the highly impressive and the horribly destructive person I know as Marsha Norma Nacht Goldstein Davidson.
But, the truth is that I have things I must do in order for Margarita and I to survive here in Mexico. Those things negate the ability for me to give you the wonderfully descriptive writing you think I am capable of producing. Do you have any idea how many hours I am on the computer typing at lighting speed? 40 pages in 3 days. Margarita and my mother-in-law yell "Ross, are you going to eat!?" Margarita asks me when we will take a walk, when will we go into town to buy the groceries... I live and feel in Spanish. However, I am writing in English. If you had immersed yourself in Italian those 3 years you lived in Italy, you would know that there are two switches and two energies connected with those respective languages... My experience is in Mexican. I am translating it into English which is a very cold and semi-rigid language... But, I am running against a clock. Come August, I return to silent me, you asking me where I am and why you haven't heard from me. But you are a ball of contradiction, hypocracy and denile. And I have been tired of your game for a very long time. And I am tired of being cordial with you saying yes because you are my mother and because MAYBE that is what I should do for you because you are my mother. But, truthfully, what was it that you thought you should do for your son when he had just lost his father, when he told you that the kids were picking on him throughout elementary, middle-school and part of high school? Your response to Uncle Stan's violence towards me when your husband, his younger brother and my father was dying at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center was to give him the $40,000 Social Security money given to you when dad died. And instead of saying to Aunt Esta that she was wrong back in 2006, you defended her and you negated my experience one more time.
And we always said yes to your visits when we truthfully meant NO. Why? because you create a hell of a lot of stress and you don't listen and you are unwilling to understand. And now that you are almost elderly, I have so much less faith that you will understand or remember. We are always here in our honest struggle. And you are always there in your fantasies and your denile. Take this to the grave terminating your ONE SHOT DEAL.