Pico de Orizaba

Pico de Orizaba
Taken from Huatusco, Veracruz, the closest town to Margarita's family's ranch.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Hell is the world you create... Or it is something brought upon you... Tepic, Nayarit March 15, 2011/Rancho Limon, Veracruz July 31st 2011

I don't believe in Heaven or Hell.  I don't believe in Satan (the devil)...  But I do believe in "god" but not in the Judeo-Christian-Islamic sense of God as a supreme male being...  What we consider "good" and "bad" is part of the living experience of learning and of understanding.  That said...  This is a long and complex thought I will be working on for a while, especially as my personal experience evolves. 

Here in Tepic, Nayarit we've entered into a sort of hell for others, that effects us indirectly as we hear sirens day and night, see soldiers in the streets and also see "others" who we would assume are participating in creating the hell and the sirens sounding and the horrific stories circulating.  And my mind asking how so many people can be so terrifyingly brutal...

Bodies hung from bridges, heads left at the entrance of our housing complex...  A woman raped infront of her husband and then having her breasts cut off, heart pulled out, the skin of her face pulled off before they killed her husband...  And why?  And why are these stories circulating in this town and why are these people doing these things? And why is it so easy to continue doing these things?  But this city near Puerto Vallarta and Mazatlan isn't mentioned by the U.S. State Department as a warning against "Americans" visiting here... Maybe it's because it's not an important tourist city and probably because not enough information circulates about what happens in Mexico.

Things were much different here 2 years ago.  Truthfully, I wonder why people have become SO violent and grotesquely destructive here.  When we visited the Torture Museum in Guanajuato a year ago, we saw it as unreal and something that (if the Inquisition was actually practiced here in Mexico as is explained in the museum) was practiced hundreds of years ago.  But now I wonder how much of that grotesque violence is part of the culture here and maybe that's why it's not condemned by the government...

For a moment I had the foolish fantasy that, with the earthquake/Tsunami in Japan, maybe the Mexican world would stop and ... and decide to stop (unnecesarily) making so many people suffer at the hands of a few when in any given moment nature can create unimaginable tragedies for so many people. Granted, when is making someone suffer necessary?  Here "they" believe that the executed are guilty of participating in elicite acts.  But the rest of the people are subjected to the stories and the fears and live in doubt that this will not directly affect those not participating in elicite acts...  The woman in the horror story was a neighbor and friend of friends of ours.  She married 4 months ago.  The friends said that she was not connected with organized crime.  But her husband...?  This is not an isolated event.  I am not an enthusiast of horror gossip, nor horror movies.  I spend days or weeks feeling bad for the person who suffered, wondering how people can do such horrible things to others and hoping that they put a bullet in her head before mutilating her.   So, I will not mention all the other "stories" circulating in this town and country. 

That said, we are about to leave for the road again, having cut out half our work in order to avoid the centers of horror...  We've spent a nice tranquil almost 3 months on the ranch, although it was a ton of work and a ton of responsibility feeding 14 adults daily...  My relationships with my sister-in-laws and various other improved dramatically.  I feel that after 8+ years, we've finally truly broken the ice.  My father-in-law is very content that he had almost all of his sons with him converting the old and burned out coffee plantation into renovated, younger and healthy one.  My brother-in-law José had time and helping hands for working on his house.  We put down a floor in the back of the house, renovated the bathroom and the shower, turning the shower into a modern wonder and we put down a floor in the front of the house, so that people don't track so much dirt into the house during the torrential rains.  Margarita and I helped my father-in-law purchase land for building a house for my brother-in-law Wilfrido and his girlfriend Indez and many of Roberto's sons were on hand for excavating the land for building the house.  Since the land was purchased near Margarita's grandparents' house, my in-laws were with Margarita's grandparents every day, preparing and eating lunch with Oligario (82) and Angelina (86), dramatically converting Oligario and Angelina's health and moods from a deep negative to a very strong positive, all because of daily attention and conversation from and with the grandchildren, the daughter and the son-in-law.  But, without work for almost 3 months we saw a draining of the bank accounts to a halfway point.  I try not focussing on financial concerns when what truly feeds us is the spiritual truth within our lives.

We leave for the road in the next few days and we enter high risk territory.  And we have no idea what to expect, although we can expect much of what we have experienced over the past year. I imagine this will be the last writing until September.  If it's the first time you've read on this blog, I have at least 70 writing pieces posted between June 1st and July 31st.  It's best to read from June 1st onward.  Granted, this writing was posted today, July 31st, although the first half was written in March.  There are July postings I wrote in May; in their titles is written the date and "Conversations With a Past Life"...  

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