You have long responses and yet you maintain a sense a humor as well throughout your writing! I don't have a typical sense of humor, I often laugh at things others don't laugh out. I think I've always been that way, though after meeting my husband, I think he draws more of that out of me. Also, he has unintentionally taught me how to come up with quick witted responses for people who say stupid or ignorant things to me. I'll share some of that at a later day. I never have enough time to write in the morning, though do like to read my emails in the a.m. I think you would enjoy talking to Fred, I've shared a lot of your stories with him. My birthday is November 21, and yes I have another question. On Cinco de Mayo do the Mexicans go to Chili's or Chevy's and have Margarita's for happy hour? LOL!
Yeah, well Memorial Day is a U.S. thing. Mexico didn't have many wars... It had other ways of killing many people and continues perfecting those ways... What's the difference between Memorial Day and Veteran's Day? The date... Yes, I thought that could be... I wasn't an expert on holidays. Mexico closes the schools and offices and banks any chance it gets... So, it should have its own Memorial Day. It has a holiday for when the Government expropriated petroleum from outside interests. But this is a lie. It has the May 5th (Cinco de Mayo) holiday celebrating the Battle of Puebla when the Mexican forces pushed out the French. But what they don't celebrate is May 6th when the French returned and massacred the Poblanos... September 15th is celebrated The Scream of Independence... when war was declared against the Spanish. But they don't celebrate a day of Independence. Why not? Because there wasn't one... November 20th is the date celebrating the beginning of the Revolution that began in 1910 to liberate the humble Mexicans from exploitation from the rich. Almost all the revolutionaries were assasinated by their fellow revolutionaries after coming into power. Today, the wealthiest man in the world, Carlos Slim, owns half of Mexican stocks. Supposedly no one has the right to what is below the ground; it's the Mexican Government's domain... After Carlos Slim, two of the richest men (billionaires) in Mexico are miners... Mexico is #1 in the world in natural resources. But this can't be filtered down to its people; and I'm not talking about socialism... OH! THIS IS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF WALKING ON YOUR HANDS BACKWARDS.
I would love to have a good Margarita on happy hour. It's probably been a year or so since I last had one; usually when my mom visits us... I don't know Chevy's. I've seen Chili's, but never entered one. Mexicans don't drink Margarita's since the drink was invented for American tourists who wanted to say they drank Tequila... I think it would be interesting to see a Taco Bell in Mexico. Mexican's have a tendency to throw aside their wonderful food traditions for commercial garbage that comes from the U.S., just to create the illusion of "moving on up"...
If Fred didn't draw things out of you, he wouldn't be functioning (Fred Mertz just came to mind. I don't think that's your husband, nor do I think you are Ethyl. But, I am Ricky, Margarita is far from Lucy). Most people don't know that about relationships. They just focus on the material value of the other person. I went with a New York friend, Michelle, to an open house at the Center for Kabbalism (Jewish mysticism rejected by the modernists...). We sat in on a seminar about Soulmates... The rabbi started by mentioning that most people when they think of being with their soulmate, they think of being in a constant state of bliss, no more suffering, no more pain. What I appreciated most was his immediate response to that fantasy... If you feel that way, you are far from being with your soulmate. With your soulmate, you suffer. Why? Because they inspire you to improve yourself. You can't feel complacency... You must grow. You must improve yourself... That doesn't mean that you don't enjoy yourself and your time with your mate. But you are not in bliss. I believe that if the connection comes from the soul level (to say that the soul is a spiritual connection with others or is a channel shared by others you will meet in this lifetime and others) it's not for pure enjoyment. "God didn't put you here for recreation" (I put that in quotes because there isn't a way of writing that correctly, like "God putting you here..."). You are here to learn something, to grow, to help someone learn something and grow... to share your "knowledge" and experiences, to send someone spinning in a new direction... I don't know what exactly was said that half hour or so; it was at least 10 years ago. Most of what I say people say is some form of paraphrasing and mixing of ideas connected to or inspired by the conversation in question...
In New York City I read a book written by a psycho-therapist on the subject of love... The author claimed that anyone can feel "love"; it can happen at the moment of orgasm with a prostitute; the fool feels it and says, "I love you" to the prostitute. (And for that reason and that feeling that he no longer feels with his wife, he becomes a loyal client to the prostitute or others. Joey had those when she was a "massage therapist") I didn't invent the man with the prostitute... That is an almost direct quote. The psycho-analyst said, "When you truly love someone, you want to help them grow as a person. You don't want anything more from that person than what you want for them..." All other "love" is projection, obsession, illusion, fantasy, infatuation (my words)... You should grow with your spouse and your true friends and be aware of your own psychological "games" you may play with yourself that only function to confuse the truth with negative fantasy... Do you know the song by Led Zeppelin, "Ramble On"? :-)
The vision of Todd Golub putting his face up to yours and saying "K-9 power" plays in my head repeatedly like a video. I vaguely remember him doing that. I also vaguely remember you back then. I've looked him up on the internet. But, I don't believe the person I find is Todd. I don't believe he is a doctor. Nor do I believe he is fat. I don't believe he would have had the discipline to do the studies. I can see him with the Jewish Defense League hunting fugitive elderly Nazis with canes or in wheelchairs or even digging up their graves in Mexico, the U.S. or Argentina and slapping them on their decomposing faces then hand-cuffing them and taking them to trial…or I imagine him in the Israeli Army killing Palestinians and Hezbollah... But a fat doctor?
Why do I look for him?
Problably with the hope that he had grown up and grown out of how I knew him... Probably so I could put some things in the past... Maybe he became a fat doctor… When I met Michael Szymanski at the route 202 gas station where I worked for one day back in the 80s, Michael’s sincere friendliness helped me put his bullying in the past... and gave me some faith in people. If I can forgive him and appreciate him as a person, I know others can do the same with me... We can all advance healthfully (hopefully).
For me to write about my experiences in Mexico, I have to go back years before leaving the U.S. and it is causing horrible difficulties with the flow of ideas and the writings... I don't want it to be pure fantasy. Nor do I want to project myself as a hero or a superstar. That would mean that I didn't get the point of it, nor of my life in the first place... I don't buy no one's shit, nor my own. The problem is that most people want pure fantasy.
At the moment the stereo is blaring Emenem... The intensity of his music, of his anger and cynism, becomes embedded in the hearts of many Mexicans, although they don't know what he is saying. I happen to enjoy listening to his music (that I never heard in the U.S.). It connects with a tension I carry within... But I also appreciate Emenem's inventive qualities of making bullshit seem real. I imagine that is the concern of many middle-class families, boards of education and church committees, that the children don't understand that it is all BS directed at a lucrative market and that they may be inspired to kill their girlfriends, parents, teachers and other high school oppressors all because they are horribly bored by having access to too many things... causing the devaluation of life in general... That's why it's best to truly suffer as a child; you still have hope towards finding enjoyment later on; you appreciate the little things... (My mother had a novel titled “Suffer the Children”… on the cover is a baby doll with its head broken and bleeding… I never read the book; I imagine it was horror. But, as you can see, I never forgot about it…) When everything is served on a platter, all that is left for you to accomplish are the big things. And the big things are much less likely and much less prevalent and much less accessible... Granted, the little things are truly the big things and the big things are truly the little things. But no one understands that paradox...
The Mexican spirit is a walking on their hands backwards... That's how things are done and lived here... Felipe Calderon invites the DEA and other departments of the Pentagon to help his government against the "war on drugs". He even reclaims the U.S. in not physically helping Mexico sufficiently over the past 2 years. Hillary Clinton gives the 12 richest country in the world hundreds of millions of dollars for that so called war. The U.S. military informs the Mexican government where are all their highest level criminals, which leads to the arrests and/or killings of many of them at the hands of the Mexican military. Calderon admits that due to corruption, the Mexican police force is incapable of doing its job. A U.N. expert in organized crime, corruption and the economic effects upon governments warns that Mexico is on the brink of collapsing if it doesn’t "nip things in the butt..." The U.S. names a handful of large Mexican companies that help finance and launder money of the criminal organizations, asking Mexico to turn over to the U.S. the owners of those companies and to block their bank accounts and sanction their companies... Mexico blatantly ignores the U.S. The U.S. ambassador to Mexico, who probably became too personally involved in genuinely helping Mexico (because that was not his job) is quoted on Wikileaks as saying that Calderon is irresponsible and that he and Mexico obstructs attempts at truly cleaning up the problem here. Calderon condemns the U.S. Ambassador who promptly renounces his position (why would you want to help someone who, due to foolish pride, doesn't want you "meddling" in their affairs, although they insist on you helping; if you don't help, they say, "look, those pinches Gringos just turn their back on us...") Calderon says, "How dare he say those things about us!" and the Mexicans are in uproar and say, "those pinches Gringos". And then the U.S. offers an apology and Hillary Clinton sends more money. And Calderon insists that the U.S. keep the doors open to undocumented Mexicans, although his cartels control over 80 percent of drugs trafficked in the U.S. with 900,000 gang members working in the U.S. for those cartels... How many of those are Mexicans I've met who've returned from the U.S...? And when one racist or heavy handed American law enforcement agent kills a Mexican crossing the frontier (and who knows what was the true event? How many cross the border armed transporting drugs and money to the other side and become involved in an armed conflict? No one here mentions this possibility and how many Mexicans are returned to Mexico after being arrested and held in U.S. state penitentiaries for 6 months... I've met some of them. They like to talk to me. But they don't realize just how stupid they appear)... everyone in Mexico hears about the event and you hear the uproar pass from "alma to alma (soul to soul)" THE PINCHES GRINGOS JUST KILLED ANOTHER OF US! But, little do they know that a few months later it would be discovered that the Mexican Immigration Services that warns its own people against the risks of crossing the deserts to get to the U.S. cities, would systematically pull off buses, cargo trains and trailers thousands of Central and South Americans trying to get to their American Dream (the same dream shared with their Mexican brothers and sisters) and "sell" them to organized crime to sell or to ransom and then later kill and bury in mass graves in 6 states of the Republic...
I'm going to leave you with this. It was totally unexpected. But, hallelujah, that it came out!
Maybe I'll find a way of completing the thought, a form of regurgitation... If I think about what I want to write, it all becomes tangled...
I can't withhold from giving you long responses... But, I am very grateful to you for inspiring the writing... Do you have any more questions? ha! ha! ha!
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