Pico de Orizaba

Pico de Orizaba
Taken from Huatusco, Veracruz, the closest town to Margarita's family's ranch.

Friday, May 26, 2017

No me gustan los hipócritas

¿Tengo que decir más?

Terrorism, over-population, competition for resources and "middle-class" (American) excesses...

Response to a commentary on Facebook about the Terrorist Attack in Manchester England

Original Post:  

"Just thinking out loud. I am sitting in the center of Cambridge just opposite Kings College, looking around and feeling so proud to be a part of this community. I see Indian ladies passing by in the most beautiful saris and choli tops, Orthodox Jews in their kippahs, I see Muslim girls in hijabs,I see Africans, Asians, Europeans, all speaking different languages. And I am thinking, how cool is that! How cool, that people came into this country, but managed to keep their language, their national clothing, their cultural identity. How cool that all these people are mingled together and accept each other's difference. I am very concerned that after the recent tragedy in Manchester, the level of racism and intolerance will plummet. Again. But I think that the whole nations, or religions should never be judged by the action of the few fanatics. The strength of this nation is in its diversity. Only diversity brings progress. Cultural, intellectual, even biological diversity is the main attribute of progress. Closed borders, suspicion, racism and uniformity are the beginning of the end. They are the route of stagnation and degradation. Of course I think that people, who come to live in this country should learn its language and history and obey its laws. But other that that, I believe they are free to keep their national individuality and should never be judged by their race or religion. We are all people of the earth. We are all the same. And we all deserve peace, respect and acceptance."

Ross:  But I do wonder what the nation/nations has/have done to recieve such attacks. One of the reasons for such incredible diversity is the horrible colonialism and imperialism in the past and present

She: "Very true. I believe my country is reaping what it sowed in previous generations in some ways."

Ross:  James Baldwin wrote the novel "Above My Head" basically attending to the incredibly complex issue of historical racism or the heritage of slavery of Africans in the U.S. and the "black" experience during the civil rights movements... During one part of the novel, the main character (a gospel singer turned rhythm and blues/soul singer of African descent) is talking with his French lover ("white")... The French lover explains that France was actually a victim within the conquest of Africa... "a VICTIM???" 

Victim of colonializing half of Africa? How could that be? 

But, the explanation, although clearly written as a riddle, is interesting: 

Capitalism was "invented" in England just before the discovery of the Americas, before England created the first Industrial Revolution... To compete with navies and armies in Europe at the time, each country must encounter the means of obtaining fist-fulls of money in seconds... Remember that the European countries with coasts and navies ended up being the "rulers of the planet"... Truthfully, it didn't matter that one fleet sunk the fleet of another country... as long as the kings had money in their coifeurs for replacing those ships... 

It doesn't matter how many billions of trillions of dollars were thrown into the garbage manufacturing nuclear arms between the USSR and the U.S., although those arms were never used... 

Get my drift on that point about the navies? 

So, in order to keep your head above water and your country afloat during such European competition from the 15th century through the 19th century, France had to obtain lands high in natural resources...

(as England would learn when it lost the cotton and wool market to the U.S. in the 19th century, when the U.S. began the second leg of the Industrial Revolution, human bodies are also natural resources)...

and they couldn't compete with England and Spain in the Americas, nor with England in Asia... So, they HAD TO conquer Africa... The repercussions of such a history places France in a victim status...

The terrorism is directed against the original conquerers and against who is deemed ally to the "white devil"... And it doesn't matter how diverse is the country and who wonderful lives are lived by the immigrants and the "people of color"... 

What matters is how each government acted against the countries of the people who have decided that they are "white devils"... How those countries depict the other countries and peoples... When George Bush Jr. began his wars against Iraq and Afghanistan, the "crusades" language he and others used justifying the U.S. and NATO's actions was extremely clear... The U.S. is "the Santa Crusada" (during the Crusades, certain Kings were labelled emperors of the Crusade and led armies against "The Infidels"...) 

When the "two sides" (as if it was truly a dichotomy) can decide to change the language and the perceptions/perspectives, truly and sincerely and honestly erasing the titles "Crusades" and "Jihads", erasing the need, then the terror will cease... But, there is a certain built-in need for maintaiing the hostility, the dichotomies, the violence... Until then, things will continue escalating... 

the evolution of culture and technology is moving too fast for people to sit back and consider... Knee-jerk reactions and the addiction for quick stimulation combined with immediate gratification and immediate and simple responses, makes it incredibly difficult for people to take the time necessary for truly considering... throw in explositions in public spaces and now no one has time for consideration, everyone is thrown into panic within an urgent and horrifying situation, which is why it is deemed terrorism... A local government can manipulate its own people with terrorist attacks... You don't need an outside attacker to accomplish your goals for moving the people as you wish... In the name of "millions", a few lives are sacrificed... afterall, in 1980 we were 4 billion people... In 2017 we have almost doubled that population... easy for strategists to forgive genocide and see people as numbers and not as individuals... And how do you feed so many people? How do you offer so many people jobs, especially when capitalism means economizing, being as austere as possible, automizing, removing the excess workers, the bank tellers for instance... 

Remember Pink Floyd's song "US and Them"? 

How do you turn the Islamic people, the Jews, the Africans, the Asians not living in Great Britain into part of the "US" part of the "WE"? 

And when the workers began losing their jobs but see a continuous influx of immigrants... who for some reason are able to eat, still...? 

Just so you understand, I live in Mexico for 14+ years... born, raised and educated in the U.S. I see the Mexican reality of why so many enter the U.S. "illegally" from this side... watching the "Trump-related" events from here... Learning about the terrorist events in Europe here... And, to tell you the truth, not even the "American Intellectuals" and people supposedly concerned about human rights etc, care about what I describe?  Why not?  Because they are only acting a certain role they've been taught means being an American... If it's a social gathering and the topic is such... grouply accepted... everyone seems concerned and interested... good people...  But, when it's not about participating within a role, a theatrical performance, what really matters to them is their creature comforts... their right to relax... after 5pm and weekends and vacations, not understanding that that's not the norm for most of the world...  and wasn't the norm for their "forefathers"...  and those creature comforts end with terrorist attacks and crashed in the economy or incredible rises in the cost of farm goods, especially with Trump smashing the sledgehammer on Mexican exports to the U.S.; the highest percetage is agricultural product necessary for feeding "Americans" as they wish for eating, but at the lowest prices possible...  for the highest paid workers on the planet...  

"Mexicans" love the idea of Hitler and Nazism... even though, had they understood the truth about Nazism, they would understand that they too would have been horrible victims had Hitler's people arrived in force in the Americas... 

One must ask "whys" before making final conclusions... just in case you see some of my statements as justifications of genocide... 

The culprit is historical... and is so ancient, dates back well before the invention of monotheism and modern religion, meaning that it dates back to well before Judaism... it dates back to the aftermath of the Ice Age... which is over-population... Natural survival instinct and protection of the family (survival instinct) and the community became horribly exagerated... seems like a communal mental illness of aggression and paranoia... obsession with control, power and accumulation... hedonism to the extreme... When do the wealthy determine that they have enough... Why can't the middle-class or upper-middle-class "Americans" live without increases or live as had their grandparents, without excesses?

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Mon Laferte - Amárrame ft. Juanes

Café Tacvba - María [480p]

Do you hear those birds...?

Violent intellectuals, nationalist "self-empowerment" movements justifying popping up around the globe... Some in the name of "Trump", some against that tendency...  Down with the Yankee pirates, abajo con los "Gringo" sanguijuelos... And I ponder during my walk to the vegetable market, parsley for a Palestinian Babaganouj recipe... Oh yes, it could be Israeli or Lebanese or Egyptian...  The religion or nationality doesn't really matter... The flavor, the festivity within the memories, the sharing... that's what connects us... a need for nurturing....

And I wonder if the worry was truly worth living... concerned about what's occurring in Argentina or India... I don't have to talk about the U.S., England, Venezuela, Turkey... Putinlandia...  

When I close my eyes... when they're open, I hear the birds in the Avocado trees... regardless of what's occurring around the world... what's about to occur... No matter how it feels; the concern, the worry, the questions of "what if"...  I still hear the birds... if only momentarily.

What does this mean?

We can't know the dates, the times... But we can still listen...

To the birds... for the moment.

Now isn't that a strange thought?  I never liked birds... years ago...  What was it that I had said?  Was it because they didn't have arms...?  Rats with wings?  No... a New Yorker dislike for pigeons... like rats with hoofs the central Jerseyan hater of deer... crossing infront of your headlights, driving at too high a velocity... not paying attention... not paying attention to the destruction of fields and forrests for over-population centers of human living... accusing the animals of over-populating themselves, placing their needy selves infront of our headlights in the moment of collision...  

What foolish boys we can be!

Love animals don't eat them...  Save the environment; kill a developer... Did that Saab or Audi or Volvo-driving college student kill her father, uncle or grandfather?

"I'm a vegetarian, but I eat fish..."  I'm not vegetarian and I know the difference... I'm not a pacificist, nor am violent...  If you sit too close to me on a very hot and stuffy day, maybe I'll become difficult, uncomfortable... If you live too close to another person, breathing on them... forcing them to listen to your overly volumed heartbeat...  they can't escape from your rhythm, from your smoke... maybe there will be violence...  

And what does this have to do with Trump and international nationalism?  Multi-national nationalism...  

"The Indios Gringos..." as if there is a difference between a "native American on one side of the U.S. Mexican border than on the other side... I guess it could be if they had learned Spanish or English... or how one federal government historically treated the other group...  

"Indios from Gringolandia"... As if they had made a choice of which invading army or government they wished for as oppressors, exploiters, rapists, assassins, destroyers of community, family, culture, health, future...  

But what does this have to do with birds?

Margarita said, "I don't like Parque Metropolitano because it doesn't have birds..." 5 years ago... a great place for running... for sunning... I wasn't sure I aggreed with her... And then the birds appeared... and we noticed the changes of the seasons... different birds... and what incredible appreciation... their different forms, structures, colors... voices... The park became filled with small wild parrots and the raucous ruckus voices... not exactly attractive... but a continuous novelty... and the bright red cardinals, if that's what they are... and the shy woodpeckers that announce their arrival at another tree... and if you hear them and look in the direction of that trunk, you'll see them... to whom are they announcing?  Today, Margarita notices lots of birds... no complaints...

And what does this have to do with violence and nationalism?

If you notice the birds, listen to them, you notice peace and liberty... you notice momentarilly that things aren't as tense as you thought... Momentary hope...  

Birds don't have to be only symbolic... I don't have to paint them... They appear against my lack of will...  against my will... no power... no will... everything will fly away upon their wings and disappear into the sky... 

Don't worry mi amor...  we aren't just petals or feathers on the wind... we are spirits... immortal... hand-in-hand, fingers entwined in an eternal dance... and there I will be, sitting upon that bough, observing you through the eyes of a crow...  hovering over you as a falcon on updrafts... as a seagull over the waves crashing upon the beach, a sparrow dancing on the air... That's me...

A king dining upon fragments of light passing through the trees, illuminating light pink or bright yellow flower petals, reflecting off pools where doves bathe... swallows gliding over the water scooping up mosquitoes with their beaks... pirouetting, diving, turning corners at 45 degree angles...

But, BANG! the racist nationalist with an idea just pulled the trigger, point blank, a bullet in the head of his neighbor, "the other"

For a moment the trees went silent... the birds concerned about what the sudden explosion of noise meant for them... When the gunpowder smoke has dissipated upon the wind... deathly silence is replaced by the aviary response... communicated by the birds... 

Do you hear them?

Natalia Lafourcade - Tú sí sabes quererme (en manos de Los Macorinos)

Eating like a King...

Spread out on the table was homemade babaganouj, homemade hummus bi tajini... "grilled" chicken breast, diced tomato, romaine lettuce hearts... iced pineapple-mango water... not juice, not smoothie... mango and pineapple slices in water as you would place lemon slices in water...  if you want, pull out a piece of mango or pineapple and place it in your mouth... chew... or you leave it for another time, later on... tomorrow...

At the moment she asked me, "what king are you?" I was thinking, "Tlatonile (a traditional sesame-chicken dish only found in a very isolated mountainous coffee-producing region of central Veracruz--Huatusco), comes from Africa... But, maybe it's not African... Maybe it's middle-eastern... the sesame... although, if I'm correct, the Muslims weren't cooking with peanuts, which is clearly west-African..."

I responded, "I guess I'm a middle-eastern king"...  

who prepares his own homemade babaganouj and humus bi tahini...  

And she said, "it's really a wonderful thing!  So refreshing!"

And we could eat like this forever... although my mind doesn't rest... and what does the mind have to do with the mouth and the stomach?  

I awakened... Late...  Another sexual active night... maybe the high zinc in my sesame loaded diet... sesame and chickpeas... sesame and eggplant... Zinc for testosterone... Testosterone for heart health...

And one can't eat without thinking... considering... the benefits... the consequences... only if you knew... only if you know... in the know... "and we looked at each other as if we were in 'the know'"... Songs periodically enter my head, regardless of what I'm doing... what was her name?  Mónica introduced me to her music... feminist folks...  

And I'm a king... eating as I eat, as I taught myself to cook... never slave to another, to the street venders... 

Cruz said, "but what do they eat if they don't eat anything?"

Imagine that?  I don't eat anything...  and don't become ill repeatedly... because I don't eat anything and everything... like a dog... or a pig...

Today, café con leche at 10am... 5k walk to and from "farmers" market... for semi-organic chicken... return home... Breakfast at 12:30pm...  8 hours until "dinner"... the other meal...

and everything's just fine... nothing could be better... 

Flight... lighter... the response... the answer... The solution?  

Kings... princes and princesses... royalty... masters of destinies...  a question of tendencies towards too many meals... not a question of starvations... although we've learned well from those histories... fasting... not symbolic but situational...  a genetic predisposition towards longer periods without ingestion... forced fasting... a more eficient bio-chemical system of working the body... responses to healthier, more natural situations...

Eating without hungry?  Eating the 4-5 hour clock intervals... snacks in between for tiding over...  body dependent upon food, not dependent upon its metabolic system... heavier... sluggish...

To truly know hunger one truly knows eating appreciation... the body appreciates hunger and becomes healthier...  

Breakfast... so what is brunch, lunch, in between snack, dinner?  

Dinner at 8pm... breakfast at 10am... 14 hours without food... granted, 6-8 consuming very few calories in dream activities... breakfast at 10am... 2nd breakfast at 4 or 6 or 8pm... 8 to 12 hours without food... 

to re-educate the body to consume it's excess reserves... and find energy at will, not when you decide to shove the energy down its throat...  

Blood pressure drops, glucose levels and triglyceride levels drop... the efficiency creates better usage of nutrients... a lower need for certain nutrients in the diet, less need for supplements... Efficiency in recycling what the body recycles, such as vitamin C and...renovation of the immune system...

Better and longer runs...  much better bathroom experiences, no interrupted sleep...

Eating like a king who eats nothing... if you only knew...

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Denial...

The bombs began dropping, explotions around you... people scattering, screaming... and you closed your eyes... Did it all disappear?

Sunday, May 21, 2017

"I Have Been Raped a Thousand Times"... concerns about social media on Facebook...

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/05/i-have-been-raped-a-thousand-times/

I couldn't help myself...  I had to respond... This was my response...:



My original comment to the friend who originally posted it: 



"uhm... I'm reading this and thinking at the same time... that, I've been in that same place with women and even in that same place with my wife of 14 years... (Just in case you haven't read the original publication, I meant that I've been in the same situation described by the female writer, the same position she repeatedly found herself in; concerned about pleasing the other person when her mind said "no")... but I can't call it rape... an over-broadening of the concept/event... 


Think about it... 


come to Mexico or go to Spain or any other Spanish speaking country... Look for the word "rape"... Now if you can't find the word, you can't find the concept... Meaning that you can't express just how horrible is the event or the concept lived... not intellectualized... You can't condemn the act... 


think about it... 


and please don't bury this comment as do so many so-called intellectual activists (and feminists) here on facebook... Look at my postings about Eve and notice that NOBODY responded... read them... read just how horrific they are... and THINK... 


Rape doesn't exist in Mexico; the #1 country in white slavery traffic and "kidnapping"... meaning that the girl, boy or young woman was pulled off the street and stuck in a "box" and shipped... and in the middle of that event, she (or he) was raped repeatedly... and then they are shipped to the U.S. and put on the market... to the rest of the world...  

But in Mexico the only word we can find is "violation"... She was violated... "Fue violada"... Violada? How? In what context... Sexually abused does not reach the level of Rape... Abusada sexualmente... repeatedly... But, maybe she or he was NOT raped... Think about it... I wish Americans didn't have such the tendency towards diluting everything... the opposite of Mexico... Mexico negates... removes the event, the experience, the person... The United States or "Americans"? They make everything equal, confusing the truth and the situations... Everything is equal... Everyone's idea has equal value... And you can fight to the death for your petty idea, burying the less petty ideas because you find them offensive... 


So, rape ceases having true importance... hence, later on it ceases having impact... Because now basically anything can be considered rape... "The dulling down of the 'American' Mind"? "The dumbing down of 'America'"? Have you heard those statements? Greatly related to how a Trump could be the top representative of the so-called most important country in the world... And the "American" intellectuals cry out "how could this be!" 


This is just one example...


And that's that... ended with a "no"... with something she harbours wihin... the first man she trusted, she still had the "no" come out... And instead of mentioning a future with him... she mentions pushing him away... Think about it... Who's truly to blame? Isn't she exaggerating a bit...? Not about not being faithful to herself and not participating in the complete sexual act... but about it all being "no"? 



Look. No one MUST have sex... not even with their own hand... 


Yes, there are sexual drives... built in... and probably connected with the innate need for reproducing the species... and yes, this is a slippery slope used by religion, that traps women into being sexual objects without voice within marriages... it also is used against homosexuals... However, there is some truth in it... 


And there are a bunch of people (many women) who prefer agressive sex... and nothing was spoken... A TON of pressure for men to "perform", to satisfy... since it is more difficult to satisfy the woman than the man... granted, dependent upon the true concept or perspective of satisfaction... Many people don't even know the extent of the concept... nor am I an expert... or a sexual master... always concerned that I'm not enough for her... and worried about her feelings if I haven't thought about having sex with her... How much pressure from the women... 


But, truthfully, although it provokes thought, the main aspect of the piece is garbage... and also very destructive... if we want to continue confusing the matters more and more... 


There are two people in a relationship... no one is a communicative expert, and most people don't understand their own impulses, needs, inhabitions, worries, childhood traumas, upbringing, enculturation... the complexity of it all... Most people don't understand that the mothers also teach the sons and daughters to be sexist... 



But, RAPE is RAPE and shouldn't be confused and devalued or dimminished... 



And here you have it... shared how many times... And how many people will criticize it? How many women? Men don't read feminist literature... When I write about these issues, even my most open-minded male friends stay away... Only women respond... So, someone out there should understand what I'm saying... That said, the feminist circles don't appreciate male voices... And the male in this piece is actually incredibly passive... which brings up the question: is that the only male not possibly threatening is the man who only thinks of her needs...? who is protecting only her feelings...? 



Think about it... Think about the wives who love joking around about their having the first and the last word... My older sister and her husband... And the men who play the horrible game, "the wife is always correct..." 


NO... 


It's a relationship; we've gotta consider both people's perspectives and needs... Not all men rape (I'm certain it is a great minority of the male population)... or violate or sexually abuse... or are sexual predators or only think about sex... 



But, there is an issue or a reality with the idea of sexual relationships... Why does she seek a sexual relationship with a man if she accuses all of them? "Guilty until proven innocent" and when she meets an innocent guy, she pushes him away... What rules in her relationship is her psychological or mental issue... her compulsive or obsessive need to say "no"... and she doesn't say that she was sexually abused or raped as a child or an adolescent, creating the true issue connected with her obsession... And you can acuse me of being "male" within this criticism... 



Well, let me tell you... I was diagnosed years ago with all of the signs of having been sexually abused as a child... HOWEVER, I don't have the recovered memories and don't believe I will have them... I've studied the subject forwards and backwards... And I can't point my finger at anyone... That doesn't mean that it didn't occur... And, I will also tell you that girls/women are at much more a risk of being sexual prey... and it is a horrible thing... 



But, again, it is a horrible thing that someone writes something like this and it is passed along... 



Oh, you can criticize me for being fascist or against freedom of speech... No, I'm against a certain "American" tendency within activism of dulling down, dumbing down, confusing the concepts or overbroading them... 



The world isn't divided into good and bad... Conservative and Liberal... That isn't the U.S., although many wish to believe that the Trumpers are the bad guys (includes the followers) and all of the rest are the good guys (and then you see the incredible infighting on the anti-Trump side, especially if someone isn't about to repeat the conveniently repeated and socially accepted by everyone)... But, that's what you're looking at... If Trump is impeached... IF... If he is thrown in Jail... Ha! Ha!... if he is assassinated by moderate republicans... the world (U.S.) will have been saved? End of the problem? As if there wasn't a much bigger problem... Like American intellectual laziness... Like lovers of "one-liners", buzz phrases and false news or quick and popular and convenient social media circulated on Facebook... Truthfully, it's all about the "American" culture of immediate gratification... and you quickly move on to the next video, idea, discussion, form of entertainment... miracle cures... easy solutions... "No please, don't make me consider future consequences or the 'bigger picture'!..."



If you have the chance to see this Kevin Kline film "Trade" that mainly takes place in Mexico do so... Most important are the statistics mentioned at the end of the film... mentioning that the trafficking of sex-slaves is first to the U.S. and then to the rest of the world... And that although the U.S. government knows about the trade, the actual organizations, where the children and adolescents are being housed, not one organization has been accused by the federal government, which brings up the question of "why"... Granted, this was 2007... who knows? Maybe values have changed... 


Saturday, May 20, 2017

Ants... hormigas... Do you ask good questions?

Always observing the ants... so many ants in Mexico... So many types... in Margarita's ranch in June after the first rains of the monsoon season, around my birthday... the giant and giant-headed Chicatanas como out of their massive homes in search of new homes... and the people of the ranch, the zone eat chicatanas in all their preparations, for a few weeks...

I learned to appreciate ants in Mexico... they stopped being a phobia of mine... I avoid stepping on them when walking or running in the park... However, if their plan is to bite me... well I kill them... Yes I do...

Today sitting on the couch in our bedroom/studio, listening to "Amores Perros" I found myself looking at the painting on wood on my large easel...  I began the painting years ago and have observed it for years, not knowing how to proceed... And for the first time I saw a giant ant infront of the young nun kneeling in the center of the painting... and it is clear that she is praying to the giant ant... So, now I can proceed...

In Cormac Mccarthy's book "the road", not even the ants survive... there are no birds... We were taught that the only organism that would survive a nuclear war would be the cucarachas... However, there aren't even cucarachas (oops!  cockaroaches) in "the road"...  

No, I don't believe the fantasies... The ants would survive... they are clearly the kings of the soil... don't allow the first layers of Earth to become too compacted... like earthworms, they airate the soil etc...  

Ok... all of the "bugs" we "hate"... that live in and off of the soil, that contribute towards the breakdown of organic matter, our dead bodies and not only fallen trees or deer left shot and dead in the underbrush...  that contribute to the nutrient context of the soil for regenerating life...  should survive a nuclear winter... 

However, the ants (hormigas) are clearly the kings of the soil... much more deserving of the title than that given the Lion; king of the Jungle...  Kings of the earth:  humans?  So, if that were the case, why do we emulate parasites, living off the organism until we've totally consumed it and it ceases existing, never truly worrying about what next... the consequences of our behaviors...  Who is the guardian of the Earth?  Or that was just a convenient invention of our so intelligent and creative minds to protect us from the truth:  That "god" created us as incredibly sophisticated parasites, placed here for only one true reason--to destroy the planet and ourselves...  entertainment for the Gods...  we're living on the chess board...  

Is that it?  Is that the truth of our existence?  Are you happy with that idea?  Does it truly matter what you think?

The person who wins isn't the person with the most or the best answers... It's the person who asks the best questions... They win?

If you don't ask truly good questions...

If you don't ask questions... if you don't harbour questions... truly good questions... truly, who are you?  

Who are you for others?

Los cuidadores de la tierra...

Dejé escrito y puesto en la pantalla "es que..."  fui al baño, tomé agua... y regresé arriba... para empezar con los quehaceres...  Estaba Margarita en la compu leyendolo... cuando terminó, paso de lado donde estaba yo sentado en el sillon, escuchando "Amores Perros"... pregunté a ella, "¿qué piensas de que acabaste leer?"  Su respuesta fue dispararme a la cabeza una pistola simbólica... Y repetí la pregunta... Su segunda respuesta fue "no puedes pasar el día solo escrutinando una peluza... tienes que siempre estar viendo y preguntando que pasa..."  estaba hablando generalmente, no de mi...

Mientras que hablaba ella, llegó una idea... que no es un grupo en contraste con otro... Son tal vez más que tres grupos: los quien fue encargado con cuidar la tierra y su gente... de vivir en harmonia con la tierra, vivir de la tierra, respetarla y no despilferar...

Después aparecio un grupo de conquistadores de gente y la tierra... la verdad, son aprovechadores... y empieza la etapa de henonismo...  

También tenemos los progresistas... los quien siempre están pensando en construir... pensando en un futuro mejor... El problema es que ellos pueden encontrarse mezclados con los conquistadores hedonistas... hedonistas sádicas...  

Y ¿los quien son intelectualamente, espiritualmente como pastores Australianos? viendo todo desde afuera... viendo el problema mayor... ¿quien tiene la responsibilidad prevenir que todo el rebaño se encuentra en resbalón hacia un precipicio?  Y no estoy hablando de gobernantes, ni ecologistas... el experimento religioso ha sido un gran fracaso... Entonces, tampoco estoy hablando de rabinos, sacerdotes, pastores, imanes...  Se atoraron en el problema de lo socio-politico y politico-economico; el juego de poder y control...  

¿donde están los quien puede inspirar intelecto-espiritualmente?  "los ojos del mundo"... o saben que todo tiene que ir hacia la chingada... que ellos siguen en vidas y más vidas... no importa si se mueran...  La tierra, humanidad no es para salvar...  todo empieza, todo tiene que terminar...  

Pero, no existe un principio ni fin de la vida... solo son ilusiones convenientes... para "alguien" del más aya... Ja! Ja!

Entonces, ¿porqué hacer tanto esfuerzo... tanto trabajo... tanta preocupacion?

es que..

¿...quién te mueve? de verdad...  crees que eres la maestra de tú destino?  Todo se empieza y termina contigo...  Sí, es cierto, aparece alguien con una pistol contra tú cabeza... se jala el gatillo...  tal vez eres tal persona quien apareció con la pistola... entonces, pusiste fin a tú vida... ahora ¿por qué tengo que ser tan morbos?  

"Solo tenemos una vida...tenemos que aprovecharla... exprimir todo que podemos... cuando llegas al fin, los puntos que acumulaste son la medida del valor de la vida viviste... hiciste"... 

De verdad, ¿lo hiciste tú?

Entonces, ¿qué hicimos juntos... qué hacemos juntos... qué haremos juntos? ¡chingao!  ¿te crees perfecto?  Y que no lograste... entonces, fallaste... pero, "ni modo"... ¿no es el caso?

Entonces, no tenemos por que acusar a nadie... todos somos iguales, con el mismo derecho solo pensar en nuestros mismos... que nada y nadie tiene que ver con nada y nadie más... ni el pasado... ni el futuro...  

No existen "milagros" reales...  Nada nos mueve... afuera de lo normal... lo aceptado... cientificamente comprobado...  No existe grabado en libros publicados, no existe...  

Vivo una vida de muestras, comprobaciones de lo contrario... llegamos a un cierto punto cuando las coincidencias dejan ser explicaciones adequadas...  Pero, parece que solo es para mi la lección...  No vivo así CABRONES... No es suficiente que gano yo...  que triste para los de más...  

Muero yo, y todos siguen resbalando hacia el abismo...  mandando a la chingada a sus queridos, su gente, el mundo humano, el mundo no humano... todo por un egoismo de pendejos tan monumental no puedes imaginar tal tamaño de estupidez y pendejismo...

¿Crees que solo los borrachos y drog adictos tienen derecho ser considerados los peores despilfadores dañadores de las familias y la sociedad?  

Vas a ver; sigues el ejemplo del presidente de las Filipinas... construyes un sistema de genecido en contra de los drog adictos y alcoholicos... y verás que todo sigue igual...

no... No tienen un monopolio de estipidez y pendejismo, enfermedad mental y neurologica los drog adictos y alcoholicos... Parece como quiere vivir la gente... donde quiere irse... resbalando hacia el abismo... velocidad creciente... más y más con los años... y inventamos razones convenientes explicando como es que tenemos la razón y porque no tenemos la culpa... Escribió un libro Milan Kundera "La Vida es en Otra Parte..."  Mi libro diria, "La Culpa Siempre está en Otra Parte"...  y punto...

Tal vez no es que quise escribir cuando subí las escaleras hacía la computadora...  "Es que..."  Tal vez voy cortarlo temprano...  Tal vez...

No soy popular... porque siempre parece que estoy regañandote... 

¿Te?  ¿Quien eres?  ¿De verdad estoy hablando de ti?  Que significa que todo el mundo va resbalando sin deseos de aminorar el resbalón... sin deseos de cambiarla dirección de las cosas?  Cambiar la posición mental, espiritual y intelectual?  

"Es nuestro derecho poder hacer libremente que hacen los de más... Y si ellos tienen el derecho autodestruirse y destruir sus comunidades y las vidas de los quien les siguen...  Por qué tengo que sacrificarme YO?"

No, no escribí que quise escribir... que sí existe algo... que nos mueve... Tal vez que mueve las masas no es que "nos" mueve... La persona quien no me escucha regañandole... quien sabe que no estoy hablando de ella... que pertenecemos del "otro lado", de otro rio... otro corriente... de agua... de aire... de espiritu... de mentalidad...  

Pero, ¿donde estás?  ¿donde están?  Sí es una preocupación mayor mia...  Todos los días aparezcan señales de que me mueve algo, alguien... se que nos mueven... y que también soy catalista, mensajero, angel...  

Dame una patada más...

Si no existe en la biblia, no puede ser aceptado...  es un arreglo socio-político, político-económico... existen ciertas consequencias mantener un perspective alternativo... Pero, no creo en "solo vivo una vida"... Se que tengo que seguir una regla universal...

Tal vez no es apropiada la palabra "universal"...  Tal vez no existe en Español la palabra adecuada...  

"Es que..." no vivimos solo una vida... bueno, tal vez los peones solo viven una vida...  tal vez no tienen almas...  solo están puestos para obstruir, mover en masas...  bloquearla vista... confundir... y YA...  

¿Que eres tú? ¿Peon?  Pero, tal vez no existe mucha diferencia entre los monolomaniacos reyes y reinas, tampoco los generales y caballeros...  si creen sin cuestión el juego de siempre... el juego egoista... el juego de la conquista... de "tú o yo"...  Solo existe "tu" o "Ustedes" y el enemigo... los de más... una dicotamia, blanco y negro... "nosotros" y "ellos"... bueno y malo...  cielo de dios y infierno del diablo...  "Nosotros" y "el otro"...  

Matame... tenemos que morirnos... todos... Pero, se que seguiré... ¿Como?  No tengo tal información... No tener tal información no significa no creer... ¿Solo creer en que todos dicen significa que es la verdad y bueno?  Que te están llevando donde verdaderamente quisieras ir si sabías donde te llevan de verdad?  ¿Puedes imaginarlo?

"Es que..."

A note on Alt-J and Real de Catorce, San Luis Potosi Mexico

We were in the kitchen, breaking fast, 10am... Margarita was listening to the radio... had just prepared me a Moka... hot...  what was I doing?  Probably considering what we would eat... that would tide me over for 8 hours and a run in the park... another hot day...

I don't know what the commentators were saying... Then suddenly a song came on the radio... and I said to Margarita... "This sounds like Alt-J... No one has their style and his voice...  They must have come out with a third album..."

4 years ago Margarita suggested that she wanted a new radio for the kitchen... I had my computer connected to Bose speakers above... that I used for painting... her radio was the same we used late into our times in Xalapa... it died... And why should she have to listen to what I blasted while painting above?  

So, one day, we were selling real well, so I went to the Bose store and bought her the best Bose stereo here in Guadalajara... it has a CD player...  Since we didn't have a smart phone for another 4 years and the wifi equipped radios actually were of lesser quality, the only option Margarita had for music was the radio, which can become incredibly old here in Guadalajara or CDs... and we began buying CDs... Latinos, "American" and British...  I fell "in-love" with Alt-J and miraculously found their first two CDs here in Guadalajara...  When painting in the kitchen, I paint to them, Radiohead (British), Zoë (Mexican), Bebé (Spanish), Los Caifanes (Mexican), Heroes de Silencio (Spanish-Argentinan), Natalia Laforcade (Mexican), Café Tacuba (Mexican), Pharell Williams ("American")... 

I came up to the computer and was inspired to write on my blog, in Spanish...  

"Es que..."  "¿... crees que nada te mueve... eres la maestra de tú destino... todo empieza y termina contigo... nada y nadie te mueve...?"

And in the middle of writing the posting,

 "It's that..." "... you believe that nothing moves you... you are the master of your destiny... everything begins and ends with you... nothing and no one moves you...?"

... I decided to look up Alt-J on Google and low and behold, they come out with their third album the day after the aniversary of my father's birth, June 2nd...  I checked YouTube and there were their official videos... which I shared with you below...  I imagine that the video with the wood rat is connected with a movie that came out in 2017 or will come out...  Margarita didn't like the wood mouse... nor the snake...  I, on the other hand love mice... Snakes?  Well, we've gotta accept them for their cultural symbolic meaning... the symbolism of when they appear in our dreams... telling us that someone is scheming against us... only to find out weeks later that that was exactly what was occuring at the time... We've made some pretty incredible decisions based on 3 dreams with snakes, two by Margarita, one was mine...  I don't know if you've heard my story about stumbling across 3 rattlers at the Delaware Water Gap one summer, separate occasions... and how that influenced my perspective on the myth of "the Garden of Eden" and the true history of human language-communication and the true fall from grace... the destruction of the world... I don't like snakes, but I have great respect for them...  Truthfully, what organism on the Earth should we NOT respect?  Donald Trump?  Well you've gotta respect his ability to dig a grave faster than any grave digger in the history of the world... however, this grave may not be his alone...

Towards the end of the first video, Margarita mentioned the things she wished I would do this morning... having to do with a accounts and paper mess...  And then the second video began... and we return to "Es que..." and "who" moves what and how...  

At 10am the Alt-J song on the radio... Alt-J, alternative rock from England, so far from the Mexican musical reality...  And I came up here thinking about spiritual connections or soul paths and writing about it in Spanish, not English... And looked up Alt-J...

The second video froze Margarita... Group from England, video in Spanish with English subtitles... But what transfixed her more than hearing her own language and seeing her face in the faces of the women, but that we walked those same footfalls, same stone streets, same steps... looked back down into town at the same church... We admired the same view below and the rocky desert hills above... we were there 9 thousand feet above sea level too watching the clouds sweep towards us... We were in that church above... probably had some of the same worries... concerns... And there we were, transported back 9 years, wonderful experience, wonderful photographs, one of my best drawings, José Montaña had asked me to paint that drawing big on his staircase... But, there's an incredible difference between drawing the doors "passageways" and painting it... impossible for me to repeat in paint... with such incredible detail and shadings, tones...  

So, this is why I posted the "second" video you see right below this post... more that greatly important that you look at the video...  where photos can't take you that videos can...






alt-J - 3WW (Official Video)

alt-J - In Cold Blood (Official Video)

Friday, May 19, 2017

Sneaker Pimps - Lightning Field Live

Margarita continued...

of course...

I was sleeping in the "arm chair"... one of my favorite rincones (alcoves) in "our" house, where I have my bookshelf... the armchair below the staircase that leads upwards...  infront of the loveseat... There's a shelf, also below the staircase where we have the professional coffee grinder and the scale...  Also there's my collection of teas... but real tea, not tizanas...  

I had just awakened from sleeping in that armchair, with one leg up on the arm, as Margarita explained to me last night, is how my mother often sits in chairs... I was surprised at that observance... For Margarita, that was a happy connection... memory of my mother... and the things her son does...  unknowingly connected with her... what else do we do unknowingly that our parents do?

I spent my life dying like my father... Then when I reached his age of dying, I left for Mexico... 

I was exhausted from the incredibly stressful night... the heat... the concerns about my brothers-in-law... the work on the 2.5 acres of coffee land that I bought for Margarita, that I had given to 2 brothers-in-law, that my father-in-law decided to take over... without informing us that he would be responsible for planting the 2,000 coffee plants I bought... And, yes, he's more responsible in many ways... It's more likely that he'd do a better job... However, there's a reason why I suggested that José Francisco and Willy do the work... because, it's time for the sons to take over the work on the ranch, to take it up a notch... My father-in-law just turned 79-years-old... Not one of his 8 sons has his strength or his health... or his responsibilities... Mexican chauvinism... the father is king and no one should better him... But what does that leave for the family, for his grandchildren, for the community?  One day he won't be able to do the work he does so well... and how will his grown children respond?

Again, you think that I spend my time thinking about my past life... No.  I spend most of my time dealing with the life we live... the life they live... the life I wish for Margarita's nieces and nephews, since the government didn't worry about them; ready cheap workforce...  Material prima...  Material prima?  What's that in English?  Raw product... Who makes money from a high quality coffee product?  Starbucks... Green Mountain Coffee Roasters... #1 and #2 coffee buyers in the world...  

Did you know that Petroleum isn't the only black gold... The coffee bean also is on the commodities exchange market...  Convert a kilo into a cup... convert thousands of kilos into tens of millions of cups of coffee and you've made more money than you would mining gold...  

Raw material: Mexican agricultural... Mexicans for foreign factories in Mexico... the 15th wealthiest country; the 10th most populated country...  One of the wealthiest countries in natural resources... Minimum wage for one 8 hour day (if they were paid by the hour or the day):  $4 US Dollars...  the least "deserving" worker in the U.S. makes more than twice that per hour...  So, you understand why so many Mexicans flee to the U.S...  And if Mexico has a much better economy and work situation than its southern neighbors, imagine the need for the other Latin Americans to find work and life in the U.S...

I try teaching my brothers-in-law to beat around the classist, racist trap, the history of the Spanish Conquest, Latin American "Neo-Liberalism" repeating Spaniard techniques of the 16th through the 19th centuries...

So, there I was sitting in the armchair, like my mother and Margarita said, "since you're sitting there, I'll place a flaxseed and cucumber mask on your face... We've gotta do it three times..."  And I asked, "why?" and she said, "I don't know..."  Of course she knew... or she wouldn't have created the mix and said that we must do it three times...

But, since I was a bit jetona...  in a certain exhausted and relaxed trance for the first time in what seems like hours, I didn't say anything, didn't move... didn't even react to the coldness of the soup, since I guess the cucumbers had been refrigerated beforehand or mix had been refrigerated...  Very refreshing... although, when the "mask" dries, it begins itching...

Margarita climbs the steps with the soup in her hand, her face green and exclaims, "IT ITCHES", and I laugh, because when I'm not focussing on the writing, I feel the itching... and she asks me if I itch too... And she says, "I've gotta put it all over your body.  Imagine that? But, it would distract me from what I've gotta do today..." And she says, "it also has cabbage larvae..." And I just look at her.... I'm in one of those strange "Mexican" moods were I'm pretty stoic... The fingers move expressively on the keyboard, but the face remains expressionless...  and then I ask, "are you being serious?" ya never know here in Mexico... and she says, "no" and then says, "I placed ground chiltipin chile pepper in it... Imagine that?" since she was suffering from the picor, the itching...  And I control myself from scratching...  Margarita says, "you're gonna shower right after it dries this third time... I would hate for the itching to trigger an alergic reaction..."

When I was relaxing, sleeping in the armchair, Margarita was listening to the wonderful Mexico City alternative rock group Café Tacuba...  David Byrn of "the Talking Heads" recorded a song with the lead singer a few years back... If you saw "Amores Perros" you heard some of their music...  Margarita was washing dishes... She had just finished preparing a salad... I had dropped down from writing on the computer... exhausted... I must control the urge to pick, since I must weight until 7pm to eat again... A necessary project in control... discipline... Margarita said, "I left the dishes for you..."  I wasn't enthusiastic about the idea and ignored the comment... I guess I was too tired... Someone made the comment about a strange intense energy in the air... I thought it was my very own personal problem... She said that she hadn't drunk enough coffee to produce such a physical effect... I mentioned that I drank 1.5 cups of coffee, but with breakfast... not a lot of coffee... and mixed with food...

"As if it were a full moon..." and she responded, "exactly"... to which I added, "a very bad sign for the people..."

Standing at the door to the patio, next to the sink full of dirty dishes... my mind in the writing... a strange periodic obsession that actually feels real good, although it is extremely dangerous... A slightly emaciated Torone flew down to what was left of the guava tree Cruz foolishly cut down...  Margarita said, "the dove (the call them miniture doves here, although they aren't) is looking for water... which made me think that others are suffering too from the drought and heatspell... Margarita had left a bucket full of water with the mop on the patio, right below where the Torone was sitting... she ignored the risk of my nearness and repeatedly eyed the bucket, calculating the possibilities... But at this moment "Orejitas" (Puppy Ears) came running up to the door, having noticed my presence and the opportunity of playing keep-away with me... The Torone flew to the Avocado tree... for suffering a while more...  

Last night, during intermittent sleep, I dreamed that I hugged Margarita's twin sister, laying on the bed... but in the middle of some strange parking lot...  and Margarita's twin sister kissed me thrice on the lips... inviting me... But, I just remained embrace against her, with my hand on her naked hip... full of desire... controlling myself... for what seemed like the whole night... knowing that the dream was mixed with reality... occasionally occurs... Telling Margarita about the dream, she feigned jealousy and said, you should have risked the taboo...  I'm certain I wouldn't have minded your screwing my twin sister...  Strange dreams...  

And, I guess she remembers having kissed me those three times...  And here I was worried about infidelity, although in half-sleep dreams... How strange...

I told her that I contemplated moving my hand, "violating her" in the dream... although she had kissed me, I didn't know if she had invited me to be infiel (unfaithful) with her twin sister... Margarita said, "you should have violated her."  

Crazy shit... Even in the dreams we must be conscientious, considerate... Humans have natural desires... desires and sudden impulses that go against certain rules, norms... that we must keep in check...  that we must consider and reconsider and weigh out the value... the true value...  I've lived this way here in Mexico for 14 years...  Cultural, experiencial, educational differences and conflicts... Racism... unfair attacks... at any given moment... unfair accusations... And I'm not talking about Margarita...  The incredible struggle for making a life together... Me in an incredibly foreign land with so little consideration for the people... So much invidia... worse than jeolousy, worse than envy... as strange, intense combination elevated to an epidemic proportion, a horrible Mexican illness that pulls everyone into the muck... 14 years of wondering if it truly is worth it...  controlling my flight...  and keeping my head above water... Idealist tourists can't know this about Mexico... Don't wish for raining on their parade, on their vacation... don't wish for knowing Mexico as it truly is and not as their 7 day vacation necesitates...  And, it's cool... Afterall, I repeatedly mention that these have been the best 14 years of my life...  I don't exaggerate... Imagine what I left behind...

But that doesn't mean that I don't have reactions, impulses and desires I must consider and maintain in check... I've never truly written about Mexico on this blog... And I highly doubt I'll truly write about it tomorrow... Why live it twice... Why relive what I'm living at the moment?

Margarita... It's amazing that she grew up intact, no problems, no issues, no complexes...  just extreme poverty and certain aspects of malnutrition... heavy alcoholism "on the ranch", foolish sexism... heavy male chauvenism, also practiced by the women against their daughters and other women... taught equally by the women...  The culture has the people turned upside down, and backwards, walking on their hands, turned inside out... When a malnurished, maleducated, abused, oppressed, exploited alcoholic and sexist male declares himself and the rest of the males the chiefs of a community, there is very little opportunity for progress...

First you've gotta remove the alcohol, feed the pregnant women and children adequatetely, teach the girls and young women to be more independent and have more respect for and faith in themselves, offer better ideas and education to the children... 

Maybe they'll lynch you for that... for "rocking the boat"...  

"Don't worry about your in-laws... don't plan for them... Just worry about Margarita and yourself, your relationship..."  

And there you have part of it...

Sounds dire... Come live here... But outside of the Expatriot communities of San Miguel de Allende and Oaxaca... come live as a Mexican... with the Mexican economy of the lower than middle-class... the 50% of the population below the poverty level... the other 20+% considered at constant risk of falling below that level... Not with the upper-middle class Mexicans who studied abroad or at the Autonamous National University of Mexico, which 12 years ago was rated in the top 90 of the best universities of the world... a lot of foreign professors...  foreign investment... international academic and scientific projects... No, you must avoid those who speak English almost as a first language... Come practice Spanish with Margarita and I and the people who surround us...  And, yes, José Montaña has his son, daughter-in-law, grandson in Texas; his daughter-in-law is "American"... only English spoken there... And, yes, his family was one of the first Krishna families in Mexico... and he and his family have travelled repeatedly to India... But, José and his wife and 2 of his 5 children aren't fluent in English... No, they don't speak English... Nance speaks Spanish, English and French... But, she's, Lupita and José jr, frown upon us...  We're below them...  Classism is learned in the crib here...

In their minds, their oldest brother moved up when he studied University in Texas, married his first "blonde white trash" wife, obtained his green card there, divorced her and remarried... With his diploma and his green card, he finds decent work there...  I'm much better educated than José Jr... come from a much higher cultural level, married a woman who is respected by everyone who speaks with her, has much self-respect, but who was born one level above indigenous... Because of this, we are frowned upon by José's children... 

What can you do?