Pico de Orizaba

Pico de Orizaba
Taken from Huatusco, Veracruz, the closest town to Margarita's family's ranch.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Apathy, Naked Women, Sexism-Chauvanism, Bhuddism and "Hungry Ghosts"

There are many Asian concepts of hungry ghosts... I don't buy the example by Mark Epstein...  He doesn't connect well the Tara's childhood experience with her mother with her behavior towards men other than live in "lover".  It's clear that Tara is doing unto her partner what was done unto her by her mother.  But, Mark doesn't show what is her unfullfilled need for love and affection...

It seems to me that hungry ghosts is an Asian version of purgatory, like the Myth of Tantalus...  I didn't see adequate explanations of these hungry ghosts.  But the idea is interesting.  

Vampirism...  The Eastern European version of Hungry Ghosts wouldn't you say?  I first thought about Vampires after Vicki broke up with me on her favorite holiday Valentine's Day.  I realized that she uses people for their energy, their vitality and pulls out of them what she can, until they are drained.  That's when she leaves.  It's ironic that she broke up with me on Valentines Day, although that day has so little importance for me.  Vicki is a modern dancer and an alcoholic.  I firmly believe that she was sexually abused by her father and for those reasons she changes her spiritual/physical appearance and her personalities, like a shape shifter...  I'm being poetic...

At first I was concerned that I was a Hungry Ghost, by the "definition" of Mark Epstein... However, after reading what the different Bhuddisms and Hinduisms say, I realize that it doesn't apply to me...  I don't seek to rob you of anything.  Nor do I seek negativity for anyone else.  The question lies within a concern for lack of lasting success.  This problem becomes exacerbated by the instability here in Mexico.  I've managed much of the stress over the years with a beautiful faith that we will encounter the solutions.  That faith is fading rapidly over the past few months.

As for my "issues" with my family...  The desire has always been towards a total detachment from those people.  That was part of the reason I left for Mexico.  However, I didn't detach myself completely because some people had my email.  When I cancelled those emails in 2006, my mother wrote all my friends asking if they had heard from me.  Then my Uncle Henry died...  

Cutting umbilical chords is complicated work.  Cutting psycological ties between mother and child is that much more difficult.  The idea is that the mother will always protect he child.  If you study child abuse and study relationships between dog and master, you find that the violence towards the child or towards the dog creates a hightened dependence upon the parent or the master.  Water tastes sweeter the less opportunity the thirsty person had for drinking wather.  The adult and the master who is abusive may be very aware of just how manipulative a tool is neglect.  And, yes, if you look up child abuse, neglect is on par with physical, emotional and sexual abuse.  

No, I can't change the past.  I can't change what my mother and others did to me.  But, it's very naive for people to think that every day that passes is a closed chapter of a book; that past is past and that the present is not affected by the past.  With that belief comes a certain apathy that negates consequences of one's actions.  Compared with "American" politics you can put that apathetic response on par with 80s-90s Republicanism and Neo-liberalism that blames the "victim".  "Poverty is a problem of family values."  I wonder how serious is the issue of PTSD in Baghdad after a trillion tons of explosives were dumped on that Iraqui city...  How will those people recover?  And will they not have the right to accuse the U.S. of creating their worst problems?  Afterall, the reasons for beginning the second Gulf War were unfounded...  What were "the ends" that justified dumping those bombs on the lives of millions of innocent people?  What right do those people have towards justice?  And what if they always only wanted to be left alone to practice their own religions, their own politics, their own industry and their own economies and have the right to the resourses found below their earth...?  

No, I'm not that Hungry Ghost.  I am a man who must live as a man within the mental constructs of our modern societies.  Men learn to become men when they are boys.  They learn from the adults surrounding them.  The only adult nearby was my mother.  And she semi-effectively emasculated me with her manipulative psychological games.  You are a woman.  You have the right to pursue your "happiness" without having to pay you life while being a purpetual student.  You know that and that's why you mention about starting your career at such an advanced age.  This is not a criticism.  It is a comparison, because most feminists and chauvanists don't understand the difference between being raised male and being raised female.  And what if the male is raised exclusively by females who are very confused, if not mentally ill to some extent?  

As a male, I will have to perform in order to bring home the bread. The post feminist female can have her career but she can also marry a man who fulfills the breadwinner role enabling her to pursue other ends with more flexibility.  She can be the stay-at-home-mom if she wants, especially if her husband earns enough money.  She can become a freelance photographer or artist or she can bake cookies and sell them infront of the schools if she wants... But the man must perform and must not show his vulnerabilities and he certainly shouldn't blame his mother for anything.  That smacks of a pansy, don't you think?  And don't mention the rare Mr. Moms.  Because, as you know, that is a joke.  

I don't ask you for anything.  This is a changing conversation with the ideal that we are bouncing ideas off one-another's brains...  Facebook is for superficial relationships; for people satisfied with posting photographs of their dog with his tongue hanging out...  Blogs are most successful when they offer photographs of semi-naked women.  The truth is that no one has the time or the interest towards reading things that are personal or political or psychological or spiritual.  I don't put advertisement on my blog because I don't wish to cheapen myself.  I don't put sexually explicit content, although I write some things that are sexually explicit not intended as pornography.  I find that when I post a poem as a poem, I receive visitors who are looking for poems within a certain context.  Those readers are looking for a website or a blog dedicated towards poetry.  So, they never develop an interest in my blog.  I also find placing videos on my blog increases viewership.  However, people seek videos for the same reason they don't seek essays; because they want entertainment.  Many people buy books for their leisure time.  But the books are well chosen and are planned for their spare time, especially the time they are laying in bed awaiting sleep or the time spent on the subway train to work.  Those people will not make the effort towards reading my blog.  

What's the point?  What's my point?  

Life is beautiful.  Life is magical.  Life is difficult.  For many people life is horrendous.  Not everyone suffers within the true concept of suffering.  I don't suffer much of my adult life.  Surprised to hear that.  I've adjusted to so many discomforts so many people will not experience within their lifetimes, so many people would consider suffering.  True, to manage those discomforts, I must utilize energy best applied to other endeavors, had I not been born with or into these issues.  

The idea of writing and reading the blog is for the person to see the whole gamut that can be very interesting if not extraordinarily helpful for the readers.  The problem is that humans prefer comfort within Status Quos and prefer destruction of other people's worlds and the worlds of their grandchildren in the name of protecting their very own super luxurious lifestyles...  Krishna and American style Bhuddism is a way of continuing the apathy blaming the negativity on poor internal management styles of the individual.  It washes hands of socio-psychological and socio-political responsibilities.  

No comments: