I didn't find the books I was looking for today when I went to one of the few bookstores I know in Guadalajara. So, I have only two options for passing my time; 1 is writing, which means I've gotta return to the yoga letter response I lost the other day; 2 is draw or paint. But after walking for miles around the city, I'm too tired to draw or paint. So, I guess I must return to that letter, although this response won't be as interesting as the one I lost...
Your husband is an unpaid PT artist... So, if he works as a part time artist, what does he do for the rest of the time... I didn't pick-up your resentful tone the last time I read your letter... You didn't mention his birthday, nor his name, nor anything else. I guess that's a bad sign... You probably don't like that I said that you benefit from your role as the breadwinner... I guess you would appreciate some more contribution from his part. I don't know him... Nor do I truly know what it is you truly expect from life, from yourself and from others. I don't think it's just that. Expectations are strange, arbitrary, often fantasies. So, the question is Do you feel you are receiving enough from yourself and from life, from your relationship from him? I'm not asking you for a response to me. It's something you must do for yourself. How much money do we need? Yes, we probably need more for security, for safety, a few perks. I took Margarita to an Indian restaurant tonight knowing that it will not be anything like what you find in the U.S., since there aren't any Indians here... But, it was something that she really appreciated, something new for her, a little perk, a small luxury. I do the books and know that it's not the greatest idea to throw $350 pesos $30USD into a meal for two. That feeds 4 for almost a week here... But, it made her happy; a relaxed couple thing. Much earlier we stumbled across a tea lounge; something you don't find in Mexico; there was an absolutely wonderful one in Park Slope, Brooklyn... And we paid $80 pesos $7USD for two pots of tea. And she said, "It was like giving yourself a spa, without the cost of the spa..." meaning that, in the middle of a long walk, and also years of limiting ourselves extremely, it was like stumbling upon an oasis with the lounge chairs and the music and the fresh tea flavors and the just relaxing... We may never have our own house, but somehow we've gotta have a healthy relationship and these extras aren't every day.
Your husband is an unpaid PT artist... So, if he works as a part time artist, what does he do for the rest of the time... I didn't pick-up your resentful tone the last time I read your letter... You didn't mention his birthday, nor his name, nor anything else. I guess that's a bad sign... You probably don't like that I said that you benefit from your role as the breadwinner... I guess you would appreciate some more contribution from his part. I don't know him... Nor do I truly know what it is you truly expect from life, from yourself and from others. I don't think it's just that. Expectations are strange, arbitrary, often fantasies. So, the question is Do you feel you are receiving enough from yourself and from life, from your relationship from him? I'm not asking you for a response to me. It's something you must do for yourself. How much money do we need? Yes, we probably need more for security, for safety, a few perks. I took Margarita to an Indian restaurant tonight knowing that it will not be anything like what you find in the U.S., since there aren't any Indians here... But, it was something that she really appreciated, something new for her, a little perk, a small luxury. I do the books and know that it's not the greatest idea to throw $350 pesos $30USD into a meal for two. That feeds 4 for almost a week here... But, it made her happy; a relaxed couple thing. Much earlier we stumbled across a tea lounge; something you don't find in Mexico; there was an absolutely wonderful one in Park Slope, Brooklyn... And we paid $80 pesos $7USD for two pots of tea. And she said, "It was like giving yourself a spa, without the cost of the spa..." meaning that, in the middle of a long walk, and also years of limiting ourselves extremely, it was like stumbling upon an oasis with the lounge chairs and the music and the fresh tea flavors and the just relaxing... We may never have our own house, but somehow we've gotta have a healthy relationship and these extras aren't every day.
You want to rent and Margarita wants to stop having to rent. I want to go back 20 years and start over again with the person I learned to be in Mexico; responsible and concerned about getting by. But, I wouldn't be that person had I not met Margarita here in Mexico. I can fantasize about returning to the age of 22 as a much more organized, responsible and concerned young adult. But the truth is that I needed an inspiration for changing. The problem is that here in Mexico it's almost a Lose Lose situation no matter how responsible you are and how much energy you have connected with inspiration. Without a very strong economic base which has so much to do with what family you were born into, it's almost impossible to truly compete in the U.S. middle-class style. I can give you upper middle-class quality food or baked goods. But, I don't have the financial backing for being able to put that business in those communities... And now I am very tired. I've burned myself out, moreso over the past two years with the incredible concern about the insecurity/violence here... At the moment I consider us fortunate to be where/how we are at the moment.
Oh! And now I know what I wrote about and why... "Americans" get caught up on the belief that the "poor" communities are rich in culture... I thought I would find that in Mexico. I was sure that Mexico was a much more "spiritual" place than the U.S. But, it's just as vacant as the U.S. and worse... without money and access to a better education that nurtures an interest in reading and without money for buying those books, the poor here have less chance of developing a rich culture. Here they exchange all their traditions for garbage food and garbage television programs and garbage clothing... And they don't learn to think and they don't learn to question and they don't learn to care. In fact, it seems that they only care about one thing and that is their "appearances"(physical and socio-political) and if they will have money enough to be able to buy another television or a cell phone with more cell phone games and better speakers for listening to their music and with a video camera built in..., since they just lost their 3rd phone in the past 8 months... Sounds harsh? I've been here almost 9 years and am surprised just how much money is thrown into garbage. I've never bought a television in my life. But how many flat-screen tvs have I seen in poor houses here? My brother-in-laws bought their first cell-phones years before I bought my first one; and for what use? For cellphone games, music and then photographs...
My ex-roomate Scott visited us with his fiance, now wife, back in 2004. They came to Mexico on a personal photo journalism project and interviewed around 60 families who have sons living and working in New York City. They expected to hear the mothers and the siblings etc say how much they miss the "boys" and how concerned they are for them. Truthfully, it was a naive point of view of theirs, since the bigger question is Why are do so many Mexicans leave Mexico for the U.S.? Yes, one would think that with so many Mexicans living in the U.S. there are so many Mexican mothers and siblings with sad faces here in Mexico. But this is the history of the past 160 years of world immigration to the U.S. How many Italian mothers and Russian mothers and German mothers and Irish mothers and Chinese mothers etc have suffered the disappearance of their children to the U.S.? But no one writes about that. Why not? Because the bigger story in these and those communities is that now they have family thriving in the U.S.; they have "American" relatives with those perks...
But, in any case, Scott mentioned that he visited newly constructed houses, many pretty big and pretty modern, constructed with money sent back from the U.S. For the most part, the people didn't know what to do with the space, and lived in those houses as if they were living in the traditional much smaller house. And when asked the question how they felt about their child or brother being so far away from home, the generic response was, "I'm fine. Look at all we have now..." Scott and Laura were horribly disillusioned, just as I am horribly disillusioned. Here, Mexicans complain about the Gringos and the other privileged people of the world. But, the truth is is that what they want most from life is to have the same consumer power as those privileged people. The problem is that no one here cares to make them intellectual/cultural consumers.
Now to talk about Mexican-style consumerism and the ignored health repercussions...
My ex-roomate Scott visited us with his fiance, now wife, back in 2004. They came to Mexico on a personal photo journalism project and interviewed around 60 families who have sons living and working in New York City. They expected to hear the mothers and the siblings etc say how much they miss the "boys" and how concerned they are for them. Truthfully, it was a naive point of view of theirs, since the bigger question is Why are do so many Mexicans leave Mexico for the U.S.? Yes, one would think that with so many Mexicans living in the U.S. there are so many Mexican mothers and siblings with sad faces here in Mexico. But this is the history of the past 160 years of world immigration to the U.S. How many Italian mothers and Russian mothers and German mothers and Irish mothers and Chinese mothers etc have suffered the disappearance of their children to the U.S.? But no one writes about that. Why not? Because the bigger story in these and those communities is that now they have family thriving in the U.S.; they have "American" relatives with those perks...
But, in any case, Scott mentioned that he visited newly constructed houses, many pretty big and pretty modern, constructed with money sent back from the U.S. For the most part, the people didn't know what to do with the space, and lived in those houses as if they were living in the traditional much smaller house. And when asked the question how they felt about their child or brother being so far away from home, the generic response was, "I'm fine. Look at all we have now..." Scott and Laura were horribly disillusioned, just as I am horribly disillusioned. Here, Mexicans complain about the Gringos and the other privileged people of the world. But, the truth is is that what they want most from life is to have the same consumer power as those privileged people. The problem is that no one here cares to make them intellectual/cultural consumers.
Now to talk about Mexican-style consumerism and the ignored health repercussions...
For a moment a bill was passed through the congress and the senate banning soda machines, junk food and candy tables from the public schools, coming into effect in 2013, since 60 percent of the children under the age of 12 are considered obese. Pass by any public school in Mexico and inside the school entrance (inside the school building) greeting the children is a long table piled with candy, Frito-Lay and BIMBO products...manned by housewives who have been given permission to mount their "store"... When you entered Branchburg Central or Somerville High School or Old York School, what did you see? I remember plaques and trophy cases... maybe bulletin boards... But, in Mexico you see these tables...
Not long after the bills were passed, they were changed and reworked and then tabled. If there wasn't a voting problem in Congress or the Senate, why would they table the bills? Why would they suddenly decide that it was OK that the children were obese and then diabetic as adults? Mexico is #1 in Diabetes in the world. It is also the #1 consumer of Coca Cola products in the world. As I mentioned before, BIMBO is the largest bakery in the world after buying Weston Foods of Canada that was the owner of Wonder. But, BIMBO sells a long line of Hostess style cakes and cookies. The equivalent of the Hostess cupcake now claims to have MORE MILK, as if that is to tell the mothers that it is healthier for their children. Nestle has a monopoly on the purchase of milk in many states of Mexico as it has in the state of Veracruz. Yes, Nestle is better known for its milk products (and coffee products) here in Mexico than it is known for its chocolate products. There was a Nestle Quick commercial showing the mothers how drinking Quick will help their sons grow up to be big and strong... But it doesn't show how they will grow up to be big, fat and diabetic... Nestle picked up on the studies that the raw flesh that covers the coffee bean is high in anti-oxidants (but the raw flesh is removed from the bean and dumped in the second phase of the coffee production process beginning with the harvesting the coffee berries/the fruit of the coffee plant; The coffee pulp isn't even used as organic fertilizer because of its high acid content. In order for the bean to reach your cup of coffee, it must be removed from the flesh and then it must be removed from the casing. It is washed and then it is dried. Finally it is roasted). However, Nestle is marketing Nescafé as having anti-oxidants! Don't eat broccoli or carrots or papaya or swiss chard or or or for anti-oxidants. Drink Nescafé!
In Mexico, Pepsi loses to Coca Cola hands down. However, it is the proud owner of Frito-Lay, which controlls 85% of the world's junk food production and sales... And, in Mexico, there are at least 50 varieties of Cheetos, "Lays" (called Sabritas in Mexico), Fritos and Doritos to choose from. The child is spell-bound by the new flavors and what to choose from when they enter into the local store. The local family store sells all the varieties of flavored-sweetened waters/sodas, Frito-lay products, BIMBO products and Coca-Cola products and very little of anything else... Then controlling the giant supermarket industry is Wallmart Stores, followed by their Mexican competitors/allies Soriana, Chedraui and Mega; all of these supermarkets displaying purely Frito-Lay, Coca-Cola and BIMBO products. Yes, I'm simplifying this; they sell produce, meat, clothing, household supplies, toys, school supplies, canned sauces and canned vegetable; but who is selling them those goods/what is their place in the international market? Did you know that Del Monte is from the Yucatan, if I am correct? How big an enterprise are they? Don't fool yourself into believing that Mexico and Mexicans are small and poor.
There are only 2 beer brewing companies in Mexico since they were allowed to absorb all the other popular regional beer brewers; Moctazuma that brews Dos Equis (XX), Indio, and Bohemia, Sol and so many more (if I am correct) and Corona that brews Corona, Negra Modelo, Tecate and so many more. Moctezuma connected with Heinekin and Miller if I'm correct and now is the largest brewer in the world... But, that has nothing to do with the children. However, what connection does that have with the children? Back in July it was announced that just over 40% of Mexicans are alcoholics... By my calculations, that makes almost all adult Mexican males alcoholics... In many cities you see giant drive-through beer cans where you can purchase your liquor while driving. The giant beer cans are called Auto Latas; lata means “can”… In many of the beer cans there is a small bar for purchasing mixed drinks. In all of the convenience stores, many found at the freeway gas stations, there are walls of refrigerators selling all the brands of cold beer you can imagine. A popular ad on Mexican television takes place at a funeral. The somber comment spoken is, "Death caused by consumption of alcohol, although they didn't ingest one drop..." Seen is the casket of a child being lowered into the grave and the parents crying... But, you must ask, why do they put this ad on the television, if no one restricts the sales and the consumption of liquor?
Not long after the bills were passed, they were changed and reworked and then tabled. If there wasn't a voting problem in Congress or the Senate, why would they table the bills? Why would they suddenly decide that it was OK that the children were obese and then diabetic as adults? Mexico is #1 in Diabetes in the world. It is also the #1 consumer of Coca Cola products in the world. As I mentioned before, BIMBO is the largest bakery in the world after buying Weston Foods of Canada that was the owner of Wonder. But, BIMBO sells a long line of Hostess style cakes and cookies. The equivalent of the Hostess cupcake now claims to have MORE MILK, as if that is to tell the mothers that it is healthier for their children. Nestle has a monopoly on the purchase of milk in many states of Mexico as it has in the state of Veracruz. Yes, Nestle is better known for its milk products (and coffee products) here in Mexico than it is known for its chocolate products. There was a Nestle Quick commercial showing the mothers how drinking Quick will help their sons grow up to be big and strong... But it doesn't show how they will grow up to be big, fat and diabetic... Nestle picked up on the studies that the raw flesh that covers the coffee bean is high in anti-oxidants (but the raw flesh is removed from the bean and dumped in the second phase of the coffee production process beginning with the harvesting the coffee berries/the fruit of the coffee plant; The coffee pulp isn't even used as organic fertilizer because of its high acid content. In order for the bean to reach your cup of coffee, it must be removed from the flesh and then it must be removed from the casing. It is washed and then it is dried. Finally it is roasted). However, Nestle is marketing Nescafé as having anti-oxidants! Don't eat broccoli or carrots or papaya or swiss chard or or or for anti-oxidants. Drink Nescafé!
In Mexico, Pepsi loses to Coca Cola hands down. However, it is the proud owner of Frito-Lay, which controlls 85% of the world's junk food production and sales... And, in Mexico, there are at least 50 varieties of Cheetos, "Lays" (called Sabritas in Mexico), Fritos and Doritos to choose from. The child is spell-bound by the new flavors and what to choose from when they enter into the local store. The local family store sells all the varieties of flavored-sweetened waters/sodas, Frito-lay products, BIMBO products and Coca-Cola products and very little of anything else... Then controlling the giant supermarket industry is Wallmart Stores, followed by their Mexican competitors/allies Soriana, Chedraui and Mega; all of these supermarkets displaying purely Frito-Lay, Coca-Cola and BIMBO products. Yes, I'm simplifying this; they sell produce, meat, clothing, household supplies, toys, school supplies, canned sauces and canned vegetable; but who is selling them those goods/what is their place in the international market? Did you know that Del Monte is from the Yucatan, if I am correct? How big an enterprise are they? Don't fool yourself into believing that Mexico and Mexicans are small and poor.
There are only 2 beer brewing companies in Mexico since they were allowed to absorb all the other popular regional beer brewers; Moctazuma that brews Dos Equis (XX), Indio, and Bohemia, Sol and so many more (if I am correct) and Corona that brews Corona, Negra Modelo, Tecate and so many more. Moctezuma connected with Heinekin and Miller if I'm correct and now is the largest brewer in the world... But, that has nothing to do with the children. However, what connection does that have with the children? Back in July it was announced that just over 40% of Mexicans are alcoholics... By my calculations, that makes almost all adult Mexican males alcoholics... In many cities you see giant drive-through beer cans where you can purchase your liquor while driving. The giant beer cans are called Auto Latas; lata means “can”… In many of the beer cans there is a small bar for purchasing mixed drinks. In all of the convenience stores, many found at the freeway gas stations, there are walls of refrigerators selling all the brands of cold beer you can imagine. A popular ad on Mexican television takes place at a funeral. The somber comment spoken is, "Death caused by consumption of alcohol, although they didn't ingest one drop..." Seen is the casket of a child being lowered into the grave and the parents crying... But, you must ask, why do they put this ad on the television, if no one restricts the sales and the consumption of liquor?
If anyone, like me, criticizes Mexicans as being thoughtless people without consciousness nor concern for the wellbeing of others, the first thing shoved in my face will be that commercial and all the other propaganda placed in the newspapers and other places stating that the Mexican people and the Mexican government is concerned about the health of their fellow Mexicans; the future of their children... Here there is the argument amongst intellectual university students that the U.S. is one of the #1 contaminators of the environment and that it ignores most of the environmental laws it supposedly promulgates. However, there is very little regulation of the exhaust that comes out of the city buses. You can see your toilet water dumped into the stream behind your house and watch that stream connect to rivers that dump into the Gulf of Mexico or the Pacific Ocean. There is a beautiful giant ravine that is the natural boundary of Guadalajara where we are living at the moment. We went to the nearest park with great views of the ravine and the river that winds through it. From at least 2 miles away, the white/yellow foam covering the river is clearly seen passing through the lush green forrests that drop down from the mountains...
4 years ago we were on a beach in Acapulco in the luxury hotel region. Suddenly people started screaming and running out of the water. Did someone just spot a shark? NO! Raw sewage was suddenly dumped into the ocean from a drainage pipe crossing the beach towards the ocean! In Acapulco of all places! And, no, we weren't on a luxury vacation. We were working there, sleeping on the floor of our stand two blocks from the street, bathing in horribly dirty bathrooms in the Convention Center where we had our coffee bar...
Do you want me to write a thesis on anti-Culturalism in Mexico? Ask me questions and I will pull out my memories... Do you want photographs of all the bleached blonde Mexicans? How about the study that came out at least 5 years ago stating that Mexico is in the top 3 countries where their people spend the most money on appearance? #1 is the U.S. # 2 is Brazil. #3 is Mexico. Appearance? What does that signify? Plastic surgery, Cosmetics, Clothing, hair styling, hair products. Now, before I learned that Mexico was #12 then #11 then #10 in the list of the the richest of the world’s 196+/- countries, I exclaimed "HOW CAN THAT BE? WHERE DO THEY GET THEIR MONEY?"
Wherever you see a Starbucks in Mexico, you see a coffee bar/cafe more filled than any other coffee bar/café in the town, city or country... Maybe you would think that they offer discount prices. Our wonderful moca frappucino which has whipped cream costs $30 pesos or $2.50USD. Their frappuccinos run from $40-55 pesos... Where do the people get their money? I've been told that in Monterrey, Mexicans put on suits and ties to go to Starbucks and only speak in English there! Go to Starbucks in Union Square, New York and check out what the people are wearing... My point is that here in Mexico people believe that, by going to Starbucks you are making a statement about your class-level/status... It doesn't matter that the Starbucks coffee in Mexico is horribly flavorless... Surprised? when in the U.S. (at least when I was last there almost 9 years ago), Starbucks coffee was horribly strong (people claimed that Starbucks burned their beans...) and it generally "short-circuited" my brain. If I drank it on my way to work I would find myself incapacitated for at least 2 or 3 hours, as if I had been drugged.
That said, I think I'm going to end this. And I haven't mentioned what happened with Mexican Traditional crafts/artesans and their wonderful culinary traditions... speaking of "poor yet wealthy in culture..."
I started re-reading this and forgot to mention how much paperback novels cost here; the going rate is between $220 and $360 pesos ($18 & 30 USD). How much would you pay for a Kingsolver or Isabel Allende novel? If you can find those books in a used bookstore, they still sell for between $6-10USD..., at least 3 times more than I would have payed in NYC. I worked shortly for Random House and learned that they shredded millions of books a year, intentionally; something having to do with politics and pricing. I could take home all the books I wanted. They donated books to libraries, but only if the libraries sent them a written request... SEND THE DAMN BOOKS TO MEXICO!
Yes, I think I should find myself a nice little rug and learn to meditate. If I'm fortunate, I'll also learn how to levitate... Turn off my brain, pull out my eyes... Maybe I will write a poem similar to that most beautiful one read at the funeral towards the end of "Four Weddings and a Funeral", but, instead of being in memory of a beautiful man and friend (or lover of the author reading the poem) it will be in memory of human consciousness and "soul"... But I don't believe it ever truly existed. That's the story of Moses; the story of Jesus of Nazareth... They seeking to guide the people away from the shallow abyss of materialism to a more concerned, more responsible, more profound consciousness of their relationship with themselves, others and with the world...
Did you like "The Last Temptation of Christ"? and the possibilities the Greek Author (who grew up very Eastern Orthodox or Roman Catholic) offers; he claims that he was very religious and read everything connected with the bible. But questions kept arrising in his mind; connected with certain biblical contradictions and certain inprobabilities. The questions nagged him so much that he ended up writing "The Last Temptation of Christ". I like the idea that Jesus and Mary Magdeline were married and had kids... and that Jesus never truly died...
How about José Saramago's "The Gospel According to Christ"? He was a poor peasant farmer's son in Spain. He became a Nobel Prize winning author... It's really an incredible book. The idea is very impressive. The message is mind-blowing; a bit existential. God and the "Devil" play games with humans in the name of justifying their (God and the Devil) existence... The people need something new in order to continue believing in God. So, God creates Jesus. But, Jesus must die, because "no one" should compete with God's powers. Plus, Jesus must die for people to believe in him... Mary Magdalene truly loved Jesus. Jesus became overly confident and self-righteous. But she always loved him...
Now, I don't believe in the Devil. I believe that God is the God of both the "good" and the "bad". God is the God of all experience necessary for you and I to learn and grow as spirits.
I believe that there are many "saints" and living "angels" and passionate "Jesus"es and many very sensitive and overly conscious and intelligent people (many of them "mentally ill") who could also become a Jesus... For me, Jesus was a prophet-type person. Someone who was moved by an uncontrollable need to right the immediate world of its "problems", its contradictions/hypocracies... But, the world does not truly want to be righted... We are selfish, greedy, short-sighted, inconsiderate, intentionally ignorant increasingly bored and fearful materialist parasites who only think about the immediate craving and the fear of not being able to sate tomorrow's craving...
You... Practice yoga, meditate, commune with the earth and the plants and nature and love what is natural; a gift to you from life or from the Earth and practice being thoughtful and considerate and the healthiest person possible and nurture your son and your relationships and the people you love.
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