Perpetual Novembers; Spring Eternal in my Mind; Late-Summer Labyrinths: Possible Medical Mal-practice and Tumors in the Rectum; Letter to my sister.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Possible Medical Mal-practice and Tumors in the Rectum; Letter to my sister.

Beth, I hope you respond to the following questions. After I write the questions I will explain the reason for asking:

Thursday was a routine check-up/rectal exam?

If so, how often did you have those exams?

I guess I understand why you can't have your rectum relined; since the interior tissue could be in the process of developing cancer. However, that doesn't explain why you can't have a J-Pouch, since they remove the rectum and replace it with a portion of the Ilium.

I don't know if you know how and why I ended up having my last surgery for the J-Pouch. It had nothing to do with a routine visit. I imagine it had been a good while since I had visited with a Gastroenterologist. I was leaving it all up to fate. Since I didn't believe in my future (have hope for it), since I always imagined I would die the age dad died. However,

Somewhere around the summer of 2001, I started bleeding. Not a problem since I had always seen some bleeding in the toilet... on and off since my colonoscopy in 1983. The difference was that this bleeding was accompanied by pain, excruciating pain, as if at the moment of trying or pushing on the toilet, my rectum would cramp, like a foot cramp. I remember finding myself sitting on the toilet in Joey's apartment in Spanish Harlem on the far east side and waiting for the pain to stop so I could continue and then leave the bathroom... And looking down, there was more blood than usual. But, I am sure I let it pass, since I was not in the position or interested in seeing doctors. However, this occurred again in my apartment in Brooklyn and I imagine it both scared me and Joey. She must have suggested my going to a hospital. We went to a hospital in Park Slope. Truthfully I don't know why we elected that one... They had us sit in the waiting room the whole night, 8 hours until someone looked at me in the morning. You have no idea how uncomfortable I was. There was no bench for laying upon...

When they finally admitted me, Joey asked that they allow her to accompany me with the doctor who proceeded to look inside my rectum with a long white tube. He said that he was looking at a strange large mass, which he imagined caused the pain. Joey asked if she could look and he permitted her, which was great, since she seemed so interested and made some jokes lightening up the mood greatly. It was her interest and participation that inspired me to visit other doctors and eventually have the surgery. You were with Mom and I when I visited the gastroenterologist. I don't remember his name. But he mysteriously appeared in my hospital room in late January 2002 offering his services like a door-to-door saleman: since I was in the hospital for my ileostomy "take-down", why not allow him to remove the polyps that were in my small intestine? What polyps? And why didn't he mention them in September? But, what happened with that mass in my rectum? It wasn't a tumor? Gorstein said that I had a lot of polyps. But that they were non-malignant. So, I asked him the question that led to his famous response: "If I don't have cancer, is it necessary to have the surgery now?" and his response, "You are correct. It is possible that the polyps won't turn. BUT, the moment that one becomes malignant, it is TOO LATE!" So, we had the surgery...

My question is how the gastroenterologist knew that I was in the hospital that "weekend" and if it is possible that the two make business for one and the other... If I didn't have cancer, why the mass and why the pain with such bleeding? Polyps bleed. But do they cause heavy bleeding accompanied by acute pain? Maybe Gorstein was about to perform an illegal surgery. Maybe I had cancer in the rectum and he wasn't supposed to construct a J-Pouch if I had cancer. The J-Pouch surgery is a much more lucrative process than the removal of rectum and the creation of a permanent Ileostomy... The surgery was supposed to take maximally 3 hours and wouldn't leave me with a temporary ileostomy. However, it took 6 hours supposedly due to complications that were never explained to me... and I ended up with the temporary ileostomy (which is standard proceedure for J-Pouch surgery; so he lied to me in order for convincing me)... and I ended up with the inability to impregnate anyone. I can enjoy sex. But, I can't impregnate Margarita. I wonder where else they were when they were THERE... Maybe they were removing "infected" tissue... Ross

No comments:

Unfinished "Self-Portrait at 33"

Something I've dreamed of painting since just after my ultimate surgery in 2001. I post this now since I don't know if I will have the chance to work on it before going back on the road on Sunday... The problem is I've been sick for the past 5 days, painting this for the past week, a few hours per day. Whatever the sickness is, it isn't anything I've known and seemingly changes every day. In order to guarrantee my being well anough for the intense work for the following month, I may have to leave this hanging until I return at the end of August...

"La Sonrisa de Amarillo" (Amarillo's smile).

"La Sonrisa de Amarillo" (Amarillo's smile). José and Nicolas were commenting that I should sell the shirt I use for painting, since it is covered with paint. And then José said, "better yet, I'll give you one of my shirts to paint..." It was a joke. But I took it seriously. He has shirt he bought 4 years ago in Zacatecas with a copy of a painting of a bull in a bull fight. However, the print was erased from the shirt years ago. So, I decided to use the space that had the bull. "Amarillo" (Yellow) was the dog at my in-laws ranch when Margarita and I met. Due to a bad fight, he was left with one side of his mouth and one of his ears mangled, which gave him a permanent half snarl with one fang sticking out. He died years ago. But we often mention him...

New House/Studio Guadalajara

Over 20 years ago our friend José "Montaña" bought a parcel of land in the center of Guadalajara. His uncle who was a constructor/mason helped José build the brick house that has 6 bedrooms. Not long afterward, José entered into his older brother's Indian crafts importation business and decided to sell the crafts in fairs around Mexico. His brothers were one of the first people in Mexico City to enter into the Krishna movement that gave them certain perks. While José became vegetarian 4 years ago, sells the Indian furniture and crafts etc, has a giant shrine to Ganesh in his house and hosts the Mahareshi at least two times a year, José doesn't consider himself a Krishna. For at least 15 years José experienced extreme success in the fairs and was able to send his children to private English Language schools (his oldest son went to University in Texas and Married there),was able to visit with his children the U.S. and India and even bought the "castillo" (castle---an insider joke) next door. For years he used it as a store house and for a shop where Mary had workers fabricating crafts and Mexican/asian Indian style clothing. Then, about 4 years ago, Mexico entered into the international economic crises and José began losing money in the fairs. (I, on the other hand, have managed the situation and the coffee business well enough to be able to improve our economy over the past 2+ years, although this year we lost half our fairs (my decision not to enter into suddenly horribly violent zones where the people are fleeing and have fair to go out to the streets.) Out of desperation, José put the house he built on the market and moved his family into the "castillo"; his children were not happy. The "castillo" was built in the 19th century and has very high ceilings and wonderful giant windows and a terrace surrounding the second story kitchen. After a year on the market, One of José's Asian Indian suppliers bought the house and decided to put it on the market. A year ago, dreaming of having an artist studio/house in the center of Guadalajara with it's majestic tree-lined streets, I asked José to contact the Indian suppliers to see if they would sell the "guest house". José replied that he couldn't locate the Indians' representative in Guadalajara. And that ended that fantasy. However, a year later, upon returning to Guadalajara, Margarita called Mary who asked Margarita if we were in need of a house. We had just rented a house for 3 months (a house infested with cockaroaches). However, I had to see the house. The moment we set foot in the empty guest house without kitchen, bathroom, closets, I was hit with the return of the dream I left behind when we left Guadalajara last November. This time I could see all the projects we would begin over the next 10 years. So, we decided to rent the house and hoped that the 32 day fair in Guadalajara would be good for us; and it was. So, now we are "building" the kitchen, we bought a new refrigerator, are having a stainless steel restaurant sink fabricated for us, are looking for good furniture, looking into nice tiling and thinking about the future one more time.

"Hummingbird Goddess of the Mountain"/"Diosa Colibrí de la Montaña"

Crucified Pregnant Woman

(Unfinished Painting November/December 2010). This was the last painting I worked on before putting aside the painting and drawing for 6 months. I don't have any artist training. I haven't ever taken a painting or a drawing class. I don't know anything about anatomy and I have NEVER seen naked pregnant woman, let alone a naked pregnant woman on a cross. That created a hell of a headache working on perspective and shadowing... How does a head hang with the arms spread outwards to the side? My dilemma. After the fair of Tepic, I asked my friend José "Montaña" to take it with him to Guadalajara. Truthfully, it created so much stress that I really didn't want to see it. The problem is that we don't have a house of our own. I don't have a studio for storing my work and supplies...

Stream of Consciousness Drawing "Your Turned Back/The Cold Shoulder" July 11, 2011

In La Isla de Mexcaltitan, Nayarit

The story goes that the group of Mexica indians had a dream one night of the great city of Tenochtitlan they would construct 200 years later in the Valley of Mexico, now known as Mexico City that later on became known as the Aztec Empire. The dream was had on the Island of Mexcaltitan, Nayarit. Upon leaving his "home" on the edge of the river Antigua in Veracruz, Cortez journeyed to the center of what is now known as the Republic of Mexico and conquered the Aztecs, with the help of the Totonoco indians of the region known as Veracruz. Cortez destroy the Grand Tenochtitlan, probably the largest pre-hispanic city in the Americas and constructed churches and cathedrals where the ancient temples and pyramids had been...

Pico de Orizaba in the Morning

I took this photo during our Sunday morning walk. We found a wonderful route that circles Margarita's parents' house; great for a jogging route. When I've run in Mexico, Margarita was my running partner. Back in 2005, when we were running in the Lakes, there were many times when Margarita ran faster than I ran. But, I always passed her on the hills... The wonderful thing about this route is that it passes through the woods, coffee plantations and sugar cane fields; a lot of hills as you can see... So, we've decided that, if we have a strong finish of 2011, we'll buy land here and build a house.